There is this idealistic and glamorous image of the hippie on the road: free, wild, fresh.

You probably have seen these cute trendy pictures of these amazing young and beautiful girls, long hair, perfect boho outfit, enjoying the sun in an amazing place, with this quote about how easy and brilliant travelling is on the top. I know you did because they are everywhere on pinterest, facebook, instagram, tweeter and I don’t know where the hell else on the internets. I have to admit that they made me dream and I’ve been thinking about myself in the picture instead of the lady, on each of them… When you plan a trip, you want to look as cool, as rad and fit as the girl on the picture, innit?

Since few weeks, I’m preparing mentally what kind of cloth I will bring with me to look free, wild and fresh like the girls on the pictures, you know… I spend time on Asos asking myself if this little cutie shirt will not be too short to wear for the temples, not going to be wrinkly after the first wash, not going to turn in a weird colour after 4 month, will match with all my bottoms…

Well, can we just stop one second and talk about the reality of traveling for a girl?
Backpacking is sure something brilliant and incredible for the soul but we have to admit that there is nothing shiny in that way of living and that doesn’t always smell flowers like in a movie… If you understand what I mean. I think girls who like to play with their outfit a minimum want to represent this idea of a boho girl always looking natural but perfect which is actually – Careful spoiler here – NOT THE REALITY OF A WOMAN BACKPACKER! – End of the spoiler, thank you -.
You have to work a lot to be a minimum clean and keep a bit of elegance during a road trip or while backpacking for a long time. There is a lot of subjects that nobody talks about how it is to travel with two panties and one dress for 12 weeks, but I will, because I’m french and I don’t care talking about poo, vomit and hair. (I’m writing in English so my mum can’t understand how gross I am on this blog! )

Being trendy on a trip is something really utopian for me. First because of my back problems, I can’t carry a heavy backpack, which means that I will rather choose to take a full box of anti diarrhea tablets or 6 packs of tampons (they are not selling them everywhere in SEA) than a super cool hipster poncho with me. Let’s take the ESSENTIAL and the most IMPORTANT things!

Yep. Good bye glamour!
But this is reality. This is the life of a backpacker. Yes Ma’am.

I personally choose to do the vaccines for this trip and I don’t think anybody wrote any romantic quotes about that on a cute picture. Where was the chic hippie in me when the doctor was spreading in my arm this expensive shit burning like crazy. Where was my lady attitude when I was freaking out, screaming “OMG OMG OMG a NEEDLE!”…?  Yeah I’m acting like baby when it’s about needles!

When I find one of this kind of picture representing an idiotic fake reality of being an boho backpacker, I always try to imagine one of these perfect girls travelling in Vietnam like I did, entering in the worst toilets I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Come on, they are not Goddesses, they must pee right?
Hanoi, bus station, two cokes and a wait of 4 hours. I followed two granny into these public toilets only to realise that what they called toilets, I could have called that… Well… A cesspool! There was no cubicles, everybody was facing each others and you better know how to stand up stables on two small bricks if you don’t want to fall in the… Hole? Stream? Let’s call it “Waters from Hell”… Just under your feet. I remember being shocked and ashamed. How the boho princesses are doing in these kind of situation? Maybe I will remember some of these travel quotes while I will experience the same again and I will laugh for sure!

And how come these ladies have the most amazing make up, even under the rain or in the morning…? “I just wake up like this” (sparkles everywhere, unicorns dancing in the sky, minty breath of course and cute eyes not puffy at all). Ah yeah? And you don’t have any hair of course. Come on, let’s continue to be honest we just talked about toilets one minute ago. Hair, and read carefully my friend,  that’s a problem for girls! Not for everybody of course but for most of us. Specially if you are wearing bikinis all the time. Right?
So yeah, I traveled as a backpacker and I remember using tweezers everywhere, at all time, in all circumstances. In Halong Bay on a Cruising boat, on one of the most beautiful beach in the world in the Whitesundays (my friend said it was a crime to do that here but I didn’t care the light was great), with my mates in the campervan in New Zealand and finally helped by three ladies using the wire technique on my legs the entire afternoon in Hoi An. Any glamour left in your romantic vision of backpaking? BAM! Nothing left? Good.

So yeah, I won’t change my cloth everyday and I will probably wear the same shirts for 5 month, I won’t have any make up and my breath will smell like not-really-fresh-oyster in the morning, my hair will be disgusting because of the sun and the salt of the ocean, I will be sometimes in places that inspired Dante, Brueghel or Bosch in their researches of the representation of Hell, no nail polish or sexy dress but I will be empowered and I will be a REAL adventurer. I’d rather be like that than missing some important things during my travel because I’m not focus on the important things… Say the girl who was more into taking her hair away in Halong Bay than admiring the landscapes…

Damn, being girly while traveling is hard. But not impossible. Self confidence and happiness are maybe the best thing to keep with you during your travel finally…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3SUPPeuRdU

 

I can hear you screaming right now about the combo socks/flip flop. This is a subject that touched off passions and as an ambassador of french style abroad (in a way) it should be a no-no but… Fuck it, it is SO comfy…

 

---

Thank you Michelle Dulake for the corrections!